the eyes of my eyes are opened

Wordless Wednesday

2012-02-08T09:09:00.001-08:00

Already?

2012-02-07T16:25:00.000-08:00

Steven has given me a disconcerting 'Heads up"...

Meazi has been asking questions...

about...

Mating. Yep, MATING. She wants to know about bees mating. And other creatures.

He thinks we are getting very close to the Birds and the Bees talk with Meazi.

Sigh and Ugh.

Although I am tempted to just give her the book that explained everything to me (just kidding), I thought you guys might have some good book recommendations.

Remember, she is six, but she already has a favorite Shakespeare play (Twelfth Night- she thinks it's "hilarious").

Suggestions?

Sunday Garden Tour

2012-02-05T05:03:00.000-08:00

Preparations have begun. (Did I mention her school teaches 'inventive' spelling to encourage a larger vocabulary?)
Hoping we actually eat the chard this year, and that we have enough tomatoes to make and can our own spaghetti sauce.

Also hoping I get one blueberry before Melese consumes them all.

What are you planting?

(If it isn't snowy where you are, and please don't hate because it is 70 degrees today. The traffic is terrible and everyone is an actor).

Wordless Wednesday

2012-02-01T05:21:00.000-08:00

Notes From Cien, Our Man in Kololo.

2012-01-29T18:40:00.000-08:00

From Cien...An Update.

Since the Western new year, many of you may have wondered where the blogging has gone. And that is for good reason. I have gone from making weekly posts to providing merely a couple in the last month. I offer my apologies to all the curious and possibly frustrated parties. There is an explanation behind my digital absence, a good one, and it is about time I shared.

The day before the ferenji New Year, Daniel and I packed up for a 9 day trip to Addis. We were to renew/extend our expiring visa’s, enjoy new years celebrations, and attend a mutual friends wedding.    We were due back in Kololo on the 9th of January to finish up the build in early February. Unfortunately, we were unable to stick to our schedule.

New Years and the wedding celebrations went as expected. All of our weekend nights slept away in a mud hut, surely stored up an adequate amount of partying energy. It was the visa’s that got us where we are now. Presently, I am taking a rest from lumberjack chores on my father’s Serbian farm, while Daniel is catching up with friend and family in the US. Sure, the convenience of not having to answer nature’s midnight call with a crank flashlight and a dulling machete is appreciated, but we both wish we were in Kololo.

On December 29th, all structural work was complete, a majority of the roof was in place, window openings were leveled, squared and ready for frame installation. Hay and heavy soils were blended in preparation for the creation of cob. Construction was going soundly, and community relations were at a peak. Daniel and I were both were discreetly offered wives. We respectfully declined. We left for Addis on the 30th, while build assistant manager, Ijigu, remained in Kololo.

Ijigu, is a trusted friend, 7 year Tesfa employee, and was my assistant manager for a similar build in Ekodaga in 2010. Just as with Kololo, Ijigu assisted me in construction planning, ordering materials, delegating labor, and dolling out payroll. Because of his previous experience, and the communities respect for his leadership, we decided to continue the build in my absence. Ijigu was to supervise the process of mixing and applying the first coat of cob to the exterior of the schools 3 buildings; he is well versed in this messy exercise, and was ready. I am very confident in Ijigu’s ability to manage a worksite.

In country visa processing has never been a streamlined activity.   Tesfa and Ethiopia Reads in country director tells many a ghastly tale of his trips to the Ethiopian immigration office. Every year it’s something different, and the officials responsible for processing paperwork become more and more inept. Officials arbitrarily hand out visa extension amounts, with no standard protocol, just based on your interaction, and their mood that day. Daniel for instance was in luck, after the office lost his visa, the ball was in his court, after some back and forth chatter, he was given that days maximum visa extension. Meanwhile the very professional gentleman behind him was provided a single day extension. Very little reasoning was offered.

I on the other hand was not looking for an extension, rather, I was hoping to renew my two year business visa. To do so, I had to fulfill a scavenger hunt of requests; proof of employment, in country banking information, a organizational information, project proposals (for those I implemented), and many other “certified” documents, all this including a full and might I add a very thorough health exam. In a blur of nearly round the clock activity we fulfilled all of the immigration offices requests… Only to be thwarted. Other documents were requested, while others needed different stamps of approval. It was ridiculous. As time ran out, we worked with a lawyer to acquire a 10 day extension. We got it. The office visits and scavenger hunt continued. After 9 more days of certifying original graduate diplomas, rounding up an array of stamps, visiting with countless officials, and spending a few thousand birr on cabs, we were still without a work permit, temporary residence, and of course time to figure any way out of this mess.   I am now working with Serbian consulates and Tesfa/Ethiopia Reads management to acquire a visa from outside of the country. Oddly, the process is much tidier from a far.

While this melee was taking place in early January, I caught some sort of stomach virus, and my computer’s battery refused to take charge. I was sicker than I have ever been, and was without a means to watch type emails, blog, or simply watch a movie to pass the time. Things were not really going my way. Meanwhile, Daniel’s visa extension was gradually expiring. We all were consumed with taking care of my paperwork, consequently Daniel’s was never finished. Things were obviously not going his way either. Well, except that he now is now able to attend this year’s New Orleans Mardi Gras festivities.

So we both, mid-build, were forced out of the country, the same country that are were trying to assist. Uncomfortably ironic isn’t it?

Since I left, Ijigu and I have been in steady communication. While in country we spoke every evening to discuss the day’s progress. Work was going as planned. We were going to use almost all of the dirt that excavated for the school’s foundations to construct the structure’s walls. Organic recycling at its best. I now have been in Serbia for 7 days, allowing Tesfa management to relay phone conversations with Ijigu to me via email on a regular basis. There has been minimal complications, and right now, the first coat of cob is complete on all interior and exterior walls. The first 2 structures second coat of cob is nearing completion. Ijigu expects the cob portion of the built to be finished by the end of the month. At that point, work will stop, and Ijigu will return to Addis, enjoy some family time, and wait for my return.

When we return on the 11th or 12th of February we will finish the final phase of the build. Laying the floors for the buildings, erecting the bathroom, painting, the installation of glass in the window frames, and finishing the water management system, including our bridges. We expect that the work be complete by the second week of March.

I am very excited to return.

One note: These sort of experiences are representative of the drawn out processes involved in many developing world bureaucracies. A delicate balance of patience and assertiveness is critical in our work. However, Ethiopia’s political environment is more stringent than ever, and regardless of tact, many of these such road blocks are becoming common place. I can assure you all, our wealth of project implementation experience, and effective management communication will ensure project success.

Notes From Kololo.

2012-01-27T17:12:00.000-08:00

Tesfa's eighth school, the one that all of you helped build, is nearing completion. It is amazing to see the progress. Thanks again to all of you. You did this!

Some interesting notes from our crew in Kololo:

· Kololo is said to be established during Emperor Haile Silasse’s time

· More than 200 family heads live in Kololo.

· Farmers grow Maize, Ginger, Teff, Godere (potato-like plant root), Coffee, Mango, Avocado, and Banana.

· The Tembaregna, Hadiyagna, Wolaytigna and Amharic languages are said to be spoken by the villagers but the dominant language is Tembarigna.

· There is no other school in the village.

· The only school relatively near to Kololo is the Debub Ambocara school which is 2.5 hrs away. Students from Kololo go to that school and have to travel 5 hrs both ways.

Here are some future students:

The children of Andesew and Kebebush.

The children of Molore and Tadelech.

Get ready kiddos! School is almost in session!

A Year of Firsts- Part II

2012-01-25T21:04:00.000-08:00

First trip to the 'Happiest Place On Earth".

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-25T05:19:00.000-08:00

Gentle Indeed.

2012-01-22T15:17:00.000-08:00

In October we went here with the kids. Ever since then, Melese has been begging us to take him back to see the animals. I decided to search through the archives of a couple of the local online moms' groups to see if I could find a farm closer to LA, where the kiddos could pet some farm animals. The first one I saw was The Gentle Barn. I briefly scanned the website and saw they were open to the public on Sundays. We went today.

All of their animals have been rescued. My Capricorns were drawn to the other Capricorns. Hugs ensued.

Meazi found a turkey who had been 'rescued from Thanksgiving."

Llama, llama, smiling llama.

Pig scritching...

Here piggy piggy...

"High on the hill was a lonely goatherd"...

Horses rescued from Disney...

Horses rescued from Premarin production...

Would you place children ???

Meazi groomed and hugged a sweet cow...

Steven found just the spot on this one...

She seemed sad....

It was a sweet, sweet, gentle place indeed.

I did some more reading about them when I got back. If you want a good cry, 'like' their Facebook page and scroll down to find the video about the cow reunited with her calf. Boo Hoo city.

Then I found a video on the Ellen Show.

We finished off our visit with a yummy vegan lunch, and a cupcake. Today was the owner's birthday. Meazi has hay in her boots, and Melese has that happy sleepy look about him. I am pulling out all of my dusty vegetarian cook books and swearing off bacon.

Local friends, please tell us when you visit. We'd love to go again.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-18T05:08:00.000-08:00

MLK

2012-01-16T11:25:00.001-08:00

I know I post the same thing every year. I really like it.

A Year of Firsts- Part I

2012-01-13T15:05:00.000-08:00

Wouldn't that be a nice title and a fun blog post if I had any time? I planned on writing it near New Year's Day, and now I'm shooting for Valentine's Day.

We did have a big year of "firsts". Some are more interesting than others.

Here is the 'first' video that I found:

First Time Dancing at a Jewish Wedding.

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-11T05:50:00.000-08:00

Wordless Wednesday

2012-01-04T00:00:00.000-08:00

It Wouldn't be the Holidays Around Here...

2011-12-31T15:37:00.000-08:00

Without a good ugly cry.

My sister got this book for the kiddos. I was reading it to Melese. It is a sweet book. It is about a chameleon who is sad because he doesn't have a color of his own. He is always changing. He is distraught until he meets a chameleon just like him. Then they have each other- forever. I turned to Kate and said, "It's Meazi and Melese's story."

We all had a good cry.

Steven thought it was funny, and managed to take a few photos.

Steel yourself- here comes the ugliest...

You're welcome.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-28T07:16:00.000-08:00

Merry Christmas

2011-12-25T09:42:00.000-08:00

Lucky Now

2011-12-24T15:46:00.000-08:00

The lights will draw you in
And the dark will bring you down
And the night will break your heart
only if you’re lucky now

I listen to this album over and over. I love it. I love him. Meazi's favorite track is Lucky Now. She belts out the words in the backseat as we drive back and forth to school. I am feeling very lucky today. This week has been a real mixed bag of emotions. We had to put Teddy down. Even though we knew it was coming, it was still heartbreaking. We have gone from three dogs to none. The house feels empty. Meazi took Teddy's stocking down and brought it to me, a big sad grown-up look in her eyes. Melese keeps babbling about how Lummi, Moses, and Teddy are all going to come back home very soon. We didn't have the vet come here this time. If you recall, we have been through this together pretty recently. The truth is we had more time with Ted than we expected, but it still sucks.

I also got a call from my doctor about a routine blood test I took six weeks ago. He said the results indicated a possible recurrence of cancer. I had to quickly get a neck ultrasound, and repeat the blood work. It turned out to be a LAB ERROR. Those few days waiting for the results sucked the living life out of me. I imagined the impossibility of caring for my energetic kidlets while going through treatment again. I was an anxious ball of nerves. Fucking lab error- give me a break!

Luckily, Uncle Mark arrived- in one piece! He is the ultimate tonic for all that ails. Everyone should have an Uncle Mark. The kids are too busy to be sad about Teddy, or worry about why their mother was muttering about lab results in the corner.

We had snow! Ok, well, Hollywood style- mall manufactured soap flakes, but SNOW! Who gives a shit if it isn't real! It was sixty degrees!

And if the lights draw you in
And the dark can take you down
And love can mend your heart
only if you’re lucky now

We just took an easy hike, and then ate burritos the size of our heads. We are waiting happily for the arrival of the Royal Wedding, Prince and Princess- The royal wedding of Madison that is.

I hope that you are surrounded by the things that make you feel lucky.

I hope Santa brings you this Ryan Adams album.

Not What I Expected-Everything I Ever Wanted.

2011-12-24T15:40:00.000-08:00

For the two people who read this blog and are not on Facebook, I wrote a new column for InCulture Parent. It's not all Wordless Wednesday people! Well, mostly. Thanks for reading.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-14T04:55:00.000-08:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-12-07T05:01:00.000-08:00

Dear Santa...

2011-12-03T06:05:00.000-08:00

Guess what Santa is bringing for Melese.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-30T04:14:00.000-08:00

New Vocabulary.

2011-11-26T14:56:00.000-08:00

For the first time in at least two years and three months, Steven and I are having a date night. Nana is in town, and we are taking advantage of her expert babysitting skills. We are going to check into a local hotel, did I mention that we co-sleep? see a movie, and maybe get a bite to eat. We will see a film that Steven chose, or maybe the one that looks more uplifting, the one that I chose.

We may eat spicy shrimp. I have high hopes that no other diners will pelt us in the head with a piece of tortellini. We may even stay up later then 8 pm. We might.

2 years!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-23T05:26:00.000-08:00

Had Another Dream About Lions at the Door

2011-11-18T23:09:00.000-08:00

Meazi had a nightmare the other night. She woke me up, saying in a panic, "Mom, I'm having a really bad dream." I held her close and said that it was okay. She told me she had been dreaming that a lion was in our room, getting ready to attack us. He left and went to Simi valley to Tessa's house, then on to G and F's house in Minnesota, and then all the way to Ethiopia where her brothers and sisters scared him away with a big knife.

I know that this has to do a bit with this post from Cien. I had asked Meazi about this a couple weeks ago, and she said YES indeed, there were big cats in those caves. Big cats.

I can't really imagine what it is like to be Meazi. She is so, so, confident and bold on the outside. At night, once in a while, she wakes up in sheer terror, afraid of a big cat getting ready to attack her, getting ready to attack her family here, and her family there, and her friends all over, everywhere.

Today, for the first time ever, we took the kids to get their blood drawn. I can't believe that this was their first blood draw ever, with us, but due to a lazy pediatrician, and a general outstanding healthiness, there never seemed to be a reason to do one before.

Steven was off of work, thank goodness. He thought we should have Melese go first because if he saw Meazi go first, he would get upset. The phlebotomist asked if we had a preference for who goes first. Steven went in with Melese. I heard him whimper, "I want to go home daddy". He whimpered and whimpered and screamed when they did it. Meazi, who was on my lap in the waiting area began to plug her ears. I felt her tense up. When it was her turn, she panicked. She fought Steven as he attempted to pick her up and carry her to the other room. She began to scream. Melese had come back with big eyes pooling with tears. He showed me his bandage and said it hurt. Meazi was freaking out, screaming and kicking Steven as he walked her back. I could hear her screams and crying from the other room, as they started getting her ready, "This rubber band is called a tourniquet," she screamed again, my face contorted and I began to cry. The receptionist looked at me and said, "Perhaps you should take a walk around the block?" Yes, yes, I thought. I need to get Melese out of here. I need to get myself out of here. Her screams were unbearable. Immediately my brain went to a dark place, a very dark place. I was a mother in Somalia, in the Congo, my daughter was screaming because someone was hurting her, raping her, beating her. I clung to Melese pacing in the parking lot, wondering what I would do if my children were being hurt by someone, really hurt. Murder, I thought, I would have to murder them. How would I do it? Would I be strong enough? I peeked in through the window, in between two white blinds I saw that the receptionist was looking at me and giving me the thumbs up. I rushed back in as Meazi came out from her simple blood draw (I didn't even feel the needle mom!). Her eyes were huge, tears lay on her cheeks. I told her it was ok. I told her we were going to Jamba Juice and that, yes, she could have whatever she wanted there- whatever she wanted. Razzamataz. The largest size.

Last week Meazi fell and cut open her face. It was a huge, gaping wound. The pink flesh was startling. So, very pink. She had been pretending that her croquet mallets were crutches, and she slipped. The brick lined front walkway was now the scene of a gruesome fall. "It was the yellow one!" She says as I walk by the colorful mallets. I raise a fist and yell, "You lousy mallet!" Releasing some of the worry and sadness at the inanimate object that is much easier to blame then my careless daughter. "Let's never play croquet again with that yellow mallet! " I yell dramatically. Her face, today, is finally looking better. I douse it with vitamin e oil, right before I tuck her in for what I hope is an undisturbed slumber.

Meanwhile, this evening, Steven works hard on a Doro wat in the kitchen. Melese, in his jammies, jumps from the coffee table to my lap on the couch. He jumps high, throws his arms around my neck and yells exuberantly, "I love you mommy, I love you mommy! I love you so much!" I squeeze him back and think that my heart may break into a million pieces.

The heartbreak that is parenting. The joy that is motherhood. The worry about the lions lurking behind every door, and the knowledge that everything has changed.

Everything has changed by knowing them. Everything.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-16T04:13:00.001-08:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-09T05:44:00.000-08:00

Groundbreaking.

2011-11-07T13:28:00.000-08:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-11-02T05:17:00.000-07:00

Groundbreaking?

2011-10-25T23:02:00.000-07:00

I just signed on to do what seems to be my third Wordless Wednesday post in a row. Sorry about the lack of posts. I seem to be spending a huge amount of time in the car driving the kids around, and I have yet to figure out how to blog while driving.

I have also been waiting to share pictures from what I think was this week's ground breaking for the school in Kololo. Cien is documenting his time in Kololo and I am checking his blog constantly. I believe he has no internet access, so it may take some time to get an update.

I am picturing shovels digging. I believe it is happening right this minute. Thank you, again, to everyone who contributed. I can hardly believe it is happening. If you signed up to be a sponsor and I haven't gotten your info yet, it is because I haven't figured out how to do that while driving either. Please contact me if you didn't sign up, and you want to. I believe we have room for a few more. It will be a group/school sponsorship instead of an individual student situation. We hope to have a Student of the Month. There is also a Facebook group for the school's first sponsors. Let me know if you'd like to be added.

So we wait together, for the first pictures.

While we wait, may I present, Les Lapin...

And des carrots...

All costumes made by Steven. Unfortunately Steven and I are apparently, well uhm, rounder, then we thought. Everyone thought we were pumpkins and not skinny carrots. Alas...middle age.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-19T05:09:00.000-07:00

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-12T06:04:00.000-07:00

In a Good News/Bad News Situation...

2011-10-09T08:02:00.000-07:00

Good news, Meazi's school provides free music lessons during lunch.

Bad news, Meazi has chosen the violin.

Just Like Me.

2011-10-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

Melese and I take Meazi to school everyday. We get there early and play on the athletic field. When we first walk in, we always see a man that works at the school. From the very first day, Melese has been mysteriously drawn to this man. Jose (not his real name) is an older gentleman, maybe in his fifties, from Mexico. When Melese sees him he shouts, "Hi! Hi Jose!" Jose walks over, his crossing guard stop sign in hand, and says good morning to Melese. The second day Melese threw his arms around Jose and gave him an enormous hug. Unheard of for Melese who will barely give a smile to dear friends we have known for years. One day, after a similar hug, Jose kept holding Melese as he stopped carpool traffic. Melese helped him 'work' and talked all about it for the rest of the day. There is just something about this man that Melese is drawn to.

After a few mornings of this mutually adorable greeting, Jose told us a little bit about his family. His wife lives in Mexico with their two children, a son and a daughter. Recently his kids had to drop out of school because it was too dangerous to attend. The violence from the Mexican mafia has caused their neighborhood to become a war zone. He showed me pictures of his adorable children. His son is named after him.

Later at home, I was telling Meazi about him. I said that I felt so sad for him, and for his family. She said, "Which part of the story is the saddest to you mom?" I said, "I guess that he can't see his family Meazi, that is the saddest to me."

She said, "Just like me. I can't see my family. He's just like me."

Maybe this is what Melese and Jose have in common. Maybe this is why they hug each other like that each day.

Maybe he just misses his son, the one who doesn't get dropped off at the beautiful, progressive, expensive school, surrounded by guards and kindly employees who could watch out for him.

And what about Meazi? Is she, like him, just working and waiting until a time when she can see her family again?

Please pass the Dalwhinne.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-10-05T05:30:00.000-07:00

Dear September...

2011-10-01T07:06:00.000-07:00

Dear September, don't let the door hit you on the way out.

I usually love September, back to school, chill in the air, sweater weather...

This year September can suck it.

I feel like I could sleep for weeks and still not regain the strength that September has zapped from me.

September has been challenging for these two as well.

We attempted preschool for Melese. Yeah, didn't work out so well. We are trying one more thing next week, but I am pretty sure that he is just not ready emotionally. This discovery needs its own post, but in case I don't get to it, here is the jist:

Melese, why are you so scared when the other parents leave? Did that ever happen to you?

Yes Mommy. Those teachers in Ethiopia, I was left there and no one came back. I was running, and running and I couldn't find Meazi.

Not. Pushing. Preschool.

Meazi has done wonderfully at her new school. She loves it. I have realized that it is virtually impossible to get into this school if you didn't start in Kindergarten. I have been made painfully aware of that fact by the multitude of parents who have approached me demanding to know who on earth we are, and how in the hell we managed to get a coveted first grade spot? Some parents have been warm and welcoming, others have been reprehensible. I have learned some tough lessons about 'invasion of privacy' and how to react to inappropriate questions including, "DID HER MOTHER DIE OF AIDS?"

School drop off has turned me into an ultra defensive, ball of nerves. My eyes dart from side to side as I try and deflect a nosy Nellie, or seem friendly to a kindly Kelly. The good news is that there continues to be a sort of wondrous force of the universe that continues to place my daughter in the arms of the world's greatest teachers. Her new teachers are first responders like her previous teachers, incredible women who seem to understand Meazi.

I woke up this morning with pinkeye and a cold, but DAMMIT OCTOBER YOU WILL BE BETTER!

It has to be right? Halloween! Melese asked to be Christopher Robin for Halloween. How cute is that and what an EASY costume! Meazi wants to be a bunny, but not a 'movie' bunny, a 'nature' bunny. I'm sure Steven can make that on his sewing machine!

There will be hot cider right? And beautiful leaves? That field mouse that has been tormenting me will find a new home right? Instead of sitting on our non humane traps and eating his fucking organic peanut butter, taking a poop, and then leaving the trap still set? RIGHT?

I realize that these are small, first world problems, but we are all a bit...

untethered. Me. No. Like. Untethered.

C'mon October...

I'm counting on you.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-28T05:37:00.000-07:00

C is for Cookie

2011-09-25T09:03:00.000-07:00

I volunteered to make cookies for a party at Meazi's school. I received an e-mail requesting "No chocolate chip cookies." Uhm, that is the cookie I know how to make. Luckily Steven was feeling ambitious.

Linzer recipe Here. No hair in the cookies.

Hopefully.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-21T04:20:00.000-07:00

Love Me 'Til My Heart Stops- My Baby Sister's Wedding.

2011-09-15T21:14:00.000-07:00

My sister's wedding was incredible! I want it to happen annually! If you have no interest in my sister or her wedding, make sure to at least scroll down to the picture of my dad in his Elvis costume.

Trevor Johnson of Trevor Johnson Photography has generously allowed me to share some of the photos from my sister's wedding. Trevor is a lovely friend of Kate's who lives in Wisconsin. He has offered a 10% discount to anyone who mentions eyes of my eyes when booking him for a future job. So all of you Midwest families out there, check out his work. Trevor was one of those great photographers who you don't even notice are present. Thanks Trevor. Oh, and I'm so glad all of your cameras survived, I thought the beauty of my sister might cause them to spontaneously combust.

Kate

World's Cutest Ring Bearer

Meazi and her cousins, Betsy and Abby. Flower Girls Extraordinaire.

Sigh.

Don't hate her because she's perfect.

Did I mention Kate is a choreographer?

The ceremony was on the roof of Madison's modern art museum.

Modern art.

Remind me later to tell you why Kate chose green...

My mom with her beautiful Irish Blessing.

SWAK

Tarek the Happy

Available, one Nordstrom's flower girl dress worn once. 6x, already too small for Ms. Meazi. Will trade for Grenache Blanc, Dalwhinne, or Chocolate of any kind, or size 7 girl's clothes.

My brother Bubs looking dapper, with Bets.

Can I get a witness?

Family Photo

LA's newest power couple- Best man Greg, and his beautiful wife Claire. I keep checking Greg's website to see if he has posted his charming and eloquent best man speech, and I keep checking Claire's to see if her book is out yet. Still waiting...

Uhm, why my sister chose GREEN!


Again, please don't hate her for her charming form and her giant brain.

One of my dates- the shorter one.

The reception was at the Orpheum Theatre. Kate had two poets open the evening reciting a love poem to each other from the Romeo and Juliet balconies (not shown).

I said a few words.

It was impossible for me to describe what it means to have Kate as my sister.

They chose one of my absolute favorite Talking Heads' songs for their first dance- This must be the Place.

My Father.

My Father- after a couple of cocktails. (Some people garden, play chess, he dresses like the king and performs).


It is a freaking miracle she didn't fall over this balcony.

It was a truly spectacular evening. I love my new brother Tarek so much. I didn't post a lot of pictures of his absolutely lovely family because, well, I'm not sure how they feel about blogs. Perhaps they enjoy privacy like some husbands I know.

I truly underestimated how moving an experience this would be, watching Katie tie the knot. She looked at Tarek in a way I'd never seen her look before. It was a thing of beauty.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-14T04:46:00.000-07:00

Six.

2011-09-12T04:47:00.000-07:00

For never before in story or rhyme
(not even once upon a time)
Has the world ever known a you, my friend,
And it never will, not ever again…
Heaven blew every trumpet
And played every horn
On the wonderful, marvelous
Night you were born.

Today you are six. I am so lucky to know you.

Happy Birthday Meazi.

This Week...

2011-09-08T22:10:00.000-07:00

This week has not gone as well as I hoped it would. Sanding has not been successful. Not at all successful.

I spoke to my friend, Grenache Blanc, and she said, "Keep on Truckin".

So we will.

This weekend we will go to the happiest place on earth. Meazi requested this day trip for her sixth birthday.

Please tell me it isn't as bad as it sounds?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-09-07T12:57:00.001-07:00

Enkutatash- Early

2011-09-06T06:21:00.000-07:00

New hairstyles

I don't YIKE it mommy!

No lijoch on the stage please.

Ham and cheese served all day

Happy Early New Year.

Degmen Tegenagnen - We Meet Again.

2011-09-02T04:38:00.000-07:00

Photo by Tanya

Tanya’s car pulls into my parents’ gravel driveway. She is honking the horn, and waving her hand out the window. Meazi, Melese and I have been outside waiting for them to arrive from their five-hour drive from St. Paul, Minnesota. Peeking in her car, we see her boys Mintesinot and Tesfaamlak sitting in their cars seats, identical to ours, one with a cow pattern and the other with a butterfly pattern. My children have met lots of other kids adopted from Ethiopia. We have a large Ethiopian-American community in Los Angeles with whom we get together all the time. This August morning, at my parents’ lake house in northern Wisconsin, is the first time my kids are seeing kids whom they knew back in Ethiopia two years ago. They have come to spend the day and night with us....

Read the rest HERE.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-31T04:49:00.000-07:00

Start Sanding

2011-08-28T21:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Melese,
Mommy and Daddy are on their way, please don't worry. We love you very much. Meazi is okay, and we will all be together soon. Your teachers will take good care of you until we get there. We love you so very much.

I just had to write an earthquake kit letter for Melese. It is a letter for him to open if there is a big emergency WHILE HE IS AT SCHOOL. Did I mention that he is going to start school on the 6th?

This 'in case of earthquake' letter pretty much sums up how I feel about Melese going to school. I feel like I am leaving him in a room without power, the earth shaking, with strangers who are kind, but not his family.

I know, logically, that school will be wonderful for Melese. He is only going three morning a week. He has dear friends in his class, and he loves visiting there. It is a lovely little school that follows this nice philosophy. He needs to be around other kids. It is a good thing. I know all of this.

I am still having a little trouble with the idea. The problem with all of this attaching we have been doing for the last two years is that I AM REALLY ATTACHED TO HIM!

It will be a challenging transition for both of us. He still seems so young to me.

I just Googled 'How to Remove a Barnacle' and the first result said, 'Start sanding'.

It is only nine hours a week. This might be a good thing too, the nine hours to myself. I might actually have time to move the laundry from the washer to the dryer instead of finding the wet clothes several days later, and just rewashing them because they are a bit moldy smelling. I might even haul my flabby bleg (it's not leg, it's not butt...what is it?) to the YMCA. The possibilities are endless.

Still, in my mind he is cowering in a door frame, his pants wet because no one reminded him to use the potty, tears streaming down his face. He is clinging to a picture of Meazi, and this lame little earthquake letter I've written him.

I know, I know- I am the barnacle. Not him. He needs to remove me. I need to be sanded off.

It is just that it happened so fast. I miss him so much already.

Summer Sunday Sundae

2011-08-28T18:02:00.000-07:00

Bold Beauty

2011-08-26T16:05:00.000-07:00

Meazi told me she wanted to do something for my sister's wedding. I mentioned to her that folks sometime make speeches or toasts, and maybe she'd like to do something at the rehearsal dinner? She said, "I don't want to make a speech mom, I want to sing a song." I suggested, You are my Sunshine. She shook her head no, and told me she had a different idea. She picked a song, picked some lyrics for three verses, and rehearsed it a couple of times when we were at the lake the week before the wedding.

The day of the rehearsal dinner she told me she was going to tell Tarek and Kate about the song. I told her to keep it a secret and surprise them. During the dinner she said, "Mom, when should I do my song?" I had heard a rumor that the groom's friend William was going to speak. We told William that Meazi wanted the mic after he was finished speaking. I told Meazi that she might want to introduce herself, and to say who it was for.

She boldly marched up after William, grabbed the mic and said the following:

"It's Meazi. This is a song for Kate and Tarek. It is a song from my brother's music class, and it's called, There is a Little Wheel a Turning in my Heart."

Then she sang:
There's a little wheel a-turning in my heart
There's a little wheel a-turning in my heart
In my heart, in my heart
There's a little wheel a-turning in my heart

There's a little song a-singing in my heart
There's a little song a-singing in my heart
In my heart, in my heart
There's a little song a-singing in my heart

There's a little sun a-shining in my heart
There's a little sun a-shining in my heart
In my heart, in my heart
There's a little sun a-shining in my heart

As Melese said this morning, two weeks later, "After her song, the crowd went wild mommy!"

And they did. The crowd went wild. There were tears and applause.

It was beautiful.

I said, "Meazi, weren't you scared singing in front of room full of strangers?"

She said, "Mom, those weren't strangers. They were family."

And yes, that song is the first song Melese ever sang to me.

I believe my sister may have had an ugly cry.

Maybe Tarek too.

Good stuff.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-24T04:14:00.000-07:00

Weights and Measures

2011-08-17T23:20:00.000-07:00

Meazi and Melese wandered onto this old scale at a birthday party. Their bellies were full of cheeseburgers and cupcakes. Melese was on it by himself, and while watching him my mind flashed to that picture of a malnourished Ethiopian child in a feeding scale. Do you remember the picture I am talking about? I can't find it now, but it was a picture of a food distribution center where families went to get Plumpy Nut. They had to be a certain weight to get it. If you have been to Ethiopia, and you are now following what is happened in the Horn of Africa, it is impossible not to constantly see those hungry kids when looking at your own kids. They don't have to be on a scale to notice it.

What to do? I feel like anyone who reads this blog already cares about Ethiopia and supports organizations that they believe in. For those readers who may be looking for a way to help, here are some suggestions:

Tesfa. I have basically walked into the boardroom of Tesfa, and pinned my heart onto their bulletin board. I believe that they are the organization that can help my Ethiopian family the most. The new school and library in M&m's village will change many, many, lives. While they are not directly doing famine relief, they are educating future leaders and thinkers. Although our school in Kololo is fully funded, they still need funds to keep all of their current programs strong. Tesfa Ethiopia Reads, and The Fregenet Foundation are my ideas, here are some of my wise friends' ideas:

Mudula water is a network of adoptive families, supporters and the non-profit organization Children's Home Society and Family Services. It's goal is to develop a gravity water scheme for Mudula, a town or "kebele" of 10,000 people in Southern Ethiopia. A natural spring that pumps 5 liters per second sits in the mountains, 2000 feet about the kebele, waiting to be tapped. Mudula Water will harness that natural spring, and feed to the people below. The impact on the Mudula society and surrounding areas upon completion of the project will be quick and significant. Positive effects of the project will include sustainability, feasibility and community driven involvement within the society, leading to a stronger sense of local responsibility. Vital health and hygiene education, as well as technical training will also be provided to the community. Finally, and perhaps most importantly, this project will not only give people clean water, it will relieve the burden of women and children who spend hours every day, sometimes multiple times every day, fetching water. They will have time to run small businesses, to do household chores, to tend to their farms and to get an education.

Mudula is located in the drought zone of East Africa and is in dire need of water. This project is crucial now more than ever. This is a grassroots fundraising effort and we are continuously looking for support. We cannot do this without you. For more information please visit www.mudulawater.org or visit https://www.kintera.org/faf/donorreg/donorpledge.asp?ievent=469401&supID=331974821 to donate to our wonderful relay team, the Mudula Mamas, who are racing in the Janus Charity Challenge to raise money for our cause! Together we can deliver potable water to over 10,000 people, keep girls in school, improve sanitation, and end the cycle of poverty.

Molly, who adopted a girl from Mudula, which in the Southwest region of Ethiopia, started a non-profit called Hope by Twelve . They have several projects their girlpods are raising money for, but one in particular is in dire need of help. The Mudula Water project is a gravity flow water system that will deliver clean water to the rural village of Mudula (Molly’s daughter’s home village and where her daughter’s family is still located) and surrounding villages. With the current drought in the Horn of Africa, it is now more vital than ever that they quickly raise the money necessary to build the water project.What is a girlpod? A girlpod is girls helping girls. It’s a simple solution. But it has the power to change the world. And it’s easier than you might think.

If you are interested in getting involved with Hope by Twelve, if you know any girls or boys that might be interested in helping raise funds with Hope by Twelve, or you and your kids want to start a girlpod (boys are welcome too!) in your area, email Molly at molly@hopebytwelve.org.

You can find them at:
Hopebytwelve.org
facebook.com/hopebytwelve

Sarah Lensen has started, Ask5for5 :

I began pursuing a BIG dream two weeks ago. After deciding I could no longer avoid the news about the famine in the horn of Africa, I had that gut feeling that I couldn't sit this one out. I HAD to do something because I could. Something bigger than I could do alone. That's when #Ask5for5 was born.

Two of my children, Ashen and Bereket, were adopted and are from the region affected by the drought in Ethiopia. They would be two of the statistics if they still lived there. I see my son’s and daughter’s faces in the photos of those suffering in the refugee camps. It could have been him. It could have been her. The thought haunts me. And moms just like us are watching their children go hungry day after day. I can't imagine what it's like, but I have to –I have to be there to help them, because it could have been my children. These families have lost their livestock, their crops, food prices are inflated at the market if there any food there, and don’t have any more lifelines to tap into. Many are traveling hundreds of miles through parched land in hope of finding help. Many are dying along the way. It is estimated that 29,000 children have died in the last 90 days in the famine in Somalia alone.

But I KNOW we can do something about it. Instead of feeling overwhelmed and paralyzed, we can rally ourselves and our friends to respond! I set up a fundraiser through See Your Impact. 100% of your gift will go to the relief and development organization World Vision, where it will be combined with government grants to multiply up to 5 times in impact!
It's so so simple; here's what you need to do:

Donate $5 or more on this page (http://seeyourimpact.org/members/ask5for5)
Send an email to your friends and ask them to join us.
Share Ask5for5 on Facebook and Twitter, and join our page to stay updated too!

My dear friend Meghan is working with Doctors Without Borders again. Read this post. And donate HERE. She is also working on funding grain stations in Hadero. Leave a comment on her blog or mine if you'd like more information about that opportunity.

Please feel free to add your own ideas in the comments.

In the morning I will make Meazi and Melese their favorite breakfast, Trader Joe's whole wheat Farina. We'll add two cups of whole milk, and gobs and gobs of our home brewed honey. Meazi will say, "Mmmm, mom my belly feels sooooooo warm." Melese will spill his on his lap, and we will get him another bowl. Maybe we won't be thinking about their brothers and sisters at that exact moment...
maybe we will.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-17T04:22:00.000-07:00

Up North

2011-08-11T04:10:00.000-07:00

After six days at the lake, my father called me over last night and said, "Jules, I want you to know that we love these children as much as we love you guys. They are wonderful, and there is nothing we wouldn't do for them. We will love them forever."

Happy vacation ugly cry to me!

We are off! Again! Did I mention my baby sister is getting hitched?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-10T03:37:00.000-07:00

Photo by the lovely and talented Tanya.

Two Years Ago

2011-08-07T07:53:00.000-07:00

We met.

Gone Fishing

2011-08-04T04:44:00.000-07:00

Headed here. I think they have dial up. Be back soon.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-08-03T05:06:00.000-07:00

Sunshine

2011-08-02T15:15:00.000-07:00

7:00 am this morning I hear, "MAMA!" I race into the bedroom, crawl into the bed and say, "Good Morning Melese. How did you sleep?"

He replies, "Good, Mama."

I say, "Did you dream?" He nods his head yes and I say, "What did you dream about Melese?"

He smiles big, taps my chest with his finger and squeals, "You Mama!"

Growing Pains

2011-07-29T16:40:00.000-07:00

Meazi is having growing pains, literally. Her shins hurt. I have to buy new clothes and shoes for her all of the time. I am now an Ebay shopper, bidding late into the night on used Naartjie leggings. I wake up in the morning and do an Ebay walk of shame over to my laptop, half hoping my rash overbidding has been outbid by someone who likes Naartjie more than me. I am working on her back to school wardrobe. I keep an eye open for butterflies, and purple, and 100% cotton.

She just had her last day of a month long summer program. Originally I had her in the Spanish Immersion class. She was miserable, so I switched her to art. We now have tons of painted toilet paper rolls, and decorative switch plate covers filling our rooms. She liked art. I was happy that the program was so diverse. Today, her last day, she told me all sorts of stories about her racist classmates. There was a boy who told her she was disgusting the very first week. She had mentioned it when it happened, but what she didn't tell me was that he said, "You are disgusting. Black people are disgusting." A second student told her that "Chocolate people were stupid". In both instances, Meazi spoke to the child and then to her teacher. The kids were reprimanded. Steven said the problem with all of this diversity is that this diversity apparently involves skinheads too. All are welcome. Meazi, surprising me with her strong sense of self, and her brave sense of right and wrong, believes these kids are wrong, and sad, and bullies. She feels sorry for them that they don't see how beautiful chocolate is, and how a mixed family is special. She knows to gravitate toward the students that agree with her.

I am watching her grow up. Her length astonishes me. The family bed is getting more and more cramped. She is tall and strong.

On our way to class one morning she said, "Mom, we should really get back to the zoo. It looks like on July 9th there will be a new Los Angeles zookeeper." She was looking up at a billboard for this movie. It had a Coming on July 9th banner on it. I loved this so, so, much when she said it. I love that she doesn't understand movies, or billboards, or who Kevin James is.

This moment, as I am writing this, she is sitting next to me braiding her doll's hair and asking me if I like Lady Gaga. She is wearing her new underwear I bought her at Target today, and her butterfly backpack, and nothing else. In the backpack are her doll's clothes. She says that she and her baby Sarah are traveling to North Ecuador to visit Sarah's mom. She says that she adopted Sarah, but that it wasn't because of a sad reason like her adoption. She says, 'Sarah's moms are both living".

"I think Lady Gaga is a wizard. Do you think so mom?"

I'm not sure Meazi. I'm not sure.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-27T05:56:00.000-07:00

Eskista.

2011-07-25T19:34:00.000-07:00

She's got moves.

Smaller Than I thought She Would Be

2011-07-24T08:31:00.000-07:00

It seems ridiculous to continue writing about our New York trip when this is happening, but I feel like I should finish what I started.

Dr. LaBootie- There is no way she could have lived up to the hype. The build up was huge, and while I wouldn't necessarily classify Meazi's reaction as disappointed, the good doctor was "Smaller than I thought she would be." The best moment was when Meazi first saw the statue from Battery Park. Her eyes got big, and she could hardly believe that she was actually seeing her. That was cool.

Here are my tips:

Buy your tickets in advance, online.

Take the earliest ferry. The island will be empty when you arrive. In order to do this, you'll have to get up pretty early. I feel like we escaped the hottest part of the day by going so early.

Let your children race around the moat like mud path that encircles the fair doctor...

Again, bring Uncle Mark to chase after Melese. Do you see Melese?

Go to the museum...

When we made reservations Crown access was sold out, which is ok because you have to be 48 inches tall. We did climb the 100 plus stairs up the pedestal, and saw a pretty good view from the inside and outside...

The only drawback to taking the earliest ferry is that your kids may be tired.

You may have to let them sleep in Battery Park right after you disembark.

I think Meazi was more impressed by Uncle Patrick's (Mark's lovely partner's) lemon cake. She complained about not being able to go in the crown. I said something terse like," You CANNOT be complaining about that after we brought you to NEW YORK CITY!" We were hot, tired, and a wee bit cranky. It was not as poetic and inspiring an experience that I thought it would be. However, since then, I see that she still loves Dr, LaBootie. She came home from a summer art class last week talking about how everyone except her made a pinch pot. She made a Dr. Labootie which will be "cooked" so she can keep it forever and ever.

Have a great trip.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-20T05:02:00.000-07:00

Representing B-K to the Fullest...

2011-07-17T07:49:00.000-07:00

We arrived at JFK again on the Fourth of July. After polling all of my smart mom friends, we had decided to leave our car seats at home. I had found this blog which listed some airport car services that had car seats available. We used Legends, the last one on his list, because it had a Brooklyn number and we were going to Brooklyn. They were late picking us up, but they had a fairly new, safely installed, car seat all ready to go for Melese. It cost over 60 bucks to get to Bedford Stuyvesant from JFK, but I would use them again. Meazi was in heaven in her no car seat seat, and her big girl seat belt. It wasn't the safest scenario, but since we were planning on using public transportation the whole rest of the trip it's what we did. Legends took us back to the airport at the end of our trip. They were early this time and the same car seat was all ready to go. In my anxiety filled research I did see other options for bringing your own car seats, wheeled bags that attach to the seat etc, but since Steven was returning home with the kids alone, I wanted to limit the amount of stuff we had to haul. On my way home I saw two small kids carrying their own booster seats, which they checked at the gate. Seemed a reasonable option too.

We also brought and gate checked Tunsi's umbrella stroller. The stroller was great at the wedding, and the rehearsal dinner as Melese could rest when he got tired. It was fairly easy to lug around, it had an arm strap, and weighed under twenty pounds. I recommend a lightweight stroller for a trip like this.

Bed-Stuy, do or die. Bedford Stuyvesant is probably not the first neighborhood people type into Google when they are planning a family vacation. Full of beautiful brownstones, Bed-Stuy seems a lot safer than it did when I lived in NY one hundred years ago. My brother-in-law bought a beautiful brownstone there. He is the only white person on his block, save for his tenants who occupy the second and third floors, and so far he has received a very warm welcome from the community.

We did get quite a few startled looks from the firemen at Mark's local station. We seemed to be an odd group making our way to the J train.

The kids loved, loved, loved the subway.

Kids ride free...

The fare for a subway or local bus ride is $2.25*. The fare for an express bus ride is $5.50. If you qualify for reduced fare, you can travel for half fare. Up to three children 44 inches tall and under ride for free on subways and local buses when accompanied by a fare paying adult. Infants (under two years of age) ride express buses free if the child sits on the lap of the accompanying adult- MTA.

Our adult to kid ratio really worked in our favor. We spent a lot of time riding the subways and transferring to other subways. Had Mark not been there to carry Meazi when she got tired, I'm sure it would have been a much more difficult experience- lots of stairs, lots of 'watch the closing doors', lots of walking.

They awake...more later on the good doctor.

Traveler's Aid. NY-Part I.

2011-07-16T15:53:00.000-07:00

Our battered suitcases were piled on the sidewalk again; we had longer ways to go. But no matter, the road is life. — Jack Kerouac

When Steven told me he'd like to attend his cousin's wedding in upstate New York I was excited. I immediately began planning our trip to the city, and to Meazi's idol, Dr. LaBootie. Thinking about it further, I became filled with anxiety about traveling with two kids under six. I was sure they would become lost or stolen or worse. Visions of Amber alerts and subway track falls filled my brain as I tried to figure out one of life's big questions...How do you travel with car seats? The closer we got to the trip, the more I relaxed. That high level of anxiety inevitably ends in a resigned calm at some point. It has to.

In an attempt to provide more than, "Here are pictures of us doing fabulous things and having a wonderful time on our summer vacation," I thought I'd write a bit about what worked for us, travel wise, with the hope that it may help someone planning a trip to the Big Apple.

Take Jet Blue. It helped that the only seats available, together, were the more expensive, "Even More Room" seats. They provided, well, even more room! Our non-tv watching kids were thoroughly entertained by the rare Sponge Bob sighting and an unfortunate Family Guy viewing (Mom, what's a gynecologist?). Kind flight crew, yummy snacks, mini water bottles and wing stickers for the kids, helped to make us big fans of Jet Blue.

Don't Take the Red Eye. Big mistake. They slept, we didn't, so we had the worst of both worlds- kids were ready to go, we were ready to sleep. Luckily the Jet Blue terminal at JFK has a children's play area. We spent about three hours there. There was a giant screen tv. It is not completely enclosed so you do have to have one eye open in case your two-year old begins throwing his Croq's at travelers walking by.

Always Bring Uncle Mark. Uncle Mark met us at the terminal for our next flight, a short 45 minute trek to Syracuse. Again, lovely Jet Blue employees, healthy snacks and the ever so helpful, 'First bag flies free" (What kind of world is it where you have to spend 25 bucks to bring a suitcase?).

We checked into our mediocre hotel in a city which reminded me a lot of Milwaukee and experienced the "World's worst view from a hotel room". Our window looked directly into the parking garage. Only one family member enjoyed that. "Mommy, we see those cars again?" Melese had a rough night that first night. He cried to go home. It was so sad to hear. Always bring whatever thing it is to help your kiddo feel secure away from home. For us it was his nightly milk. We were out of milk.

We attended a beautiful wedding. When in doubt, say yes to that wedding invitation.

Next up- Bed-Stuy, Do or Die, and do not show her the Beyonce Fourth of July, Statue of Liberty performance before the big day.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-13T05:53:00.000-07:00

Comfort Food

2011-07-12T07:17:00.000-07:00

We are back from our east coast adventures. Time for some comfort food.

140.

2011-07-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

Out of the 140 pictures, this one is the best. This is when she saw the statue for the first time.

Her favorite part of the trip is still the water feature at the Central park.

And her Uncle Mark...

Wordless Wednesday

2011-07-06T05:36:00.000-07:00

Start Spreading the News.

2011-07-01T06:33:00.000-07:00

We are off! We are off to a big, fat, Jewish, wedding. We are off to worship false idols...

And we are off to give NY state a big, ole wet kiss, to celebrate that it is one of the few wise states that recognizes that everyone should have the right to marry.

If you were thinking of ransacking our 950 square feet in our absence, be advised that a tiny,old, Irish, granny nanny and a half-deaf, geriatric pup 6'2 armed, former member of the IRA and a giant rabid Rottweiler will be guarding our abode.

Steven's cousin is having a black tie wedding. I wasn't going to get Meazi a new dress, since she had this pretty yellow one from the fundraiser, and I knew she was getting a custom made dress in August for my sister's wedding.

We went into a local shop that sells a lot of Quinceanera dresses, to find Melese a black tie. Meazi noticed some long dresses and asked just to try a couple on. She put this one on and I was a goner. The way her eyes sparkled when she saw herself in the mirror made me hand over the credit card instantly. Well worth the 34 bucks.

Have a wonderful Fourth of July. See some of you in NYC.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-29T04:42:00.000-07:00

We have a winner!!

2011-06-28T14:55:00.000-07:00

Melese and I are very happy to announce that AMY is the winner of the Converse sneakers! WaHoo! And further evidence that the blogosphere is full of kind and generous people, Amy is going to use them to help others.

Amy is the proud mama of an adorable three year old named Lila. Lila was adopted form Nepal. Amy brought my attention to a terrible situation happening in Vietnam right now.

The Bac Lieu 16 have a Facebook Group, and here is their petition to congress. Sad stuff.

Amy is planning to auction off the Weeds shoes, and donate the money to this cause.

Wouldn't it be something if these shoes just kept do-gooding over and over again? What could one pair of green sneaks do?

Congratulations Amy. And thank you.

Sunday Garden Tour

2011-06-26T04:30:00.000-07:00

Eyes of my eyes Giveaway! This is your feet on drugs...

2011-06-23T06:47:00.000-07:00

Some of you may know that I had asked Mary Louise Parker to host our Fundraiser. I ~~bombarded her with incessant requests~~ sent her an e-mail. Unfortunately she was in NY on April 17th, and everyone was stuck with me as the host. Mary Louise is the beautiful and talented star of the show Weeds. She has a daughter from Ethiopia, and does a lot of work for WWO, Jane Aronson's charity.

Converse has designed a special shoe for Mary Louise, a Weeds shoe. Mary Louise has donated these shoes to me. I want to give them to you. I would have listed them in the online auction if I had had them by then, but I didn't. I know that the majority of the readers of this blog have already donated to the school and library in Ethiopia, and I don't want to ask for donations, or raffle tickets, or anything like that again. I want someone to win them. Someone with biggish feet. They are a men's size 8 or a woman's size 10. They are signed by Mary Louise and have a cool Weeds season 7 logo on the heel. Even if they are not your size, they are cool and you could give them as a gift like she did, and like I'm about to.

You don't need to have made a donation to the school or library to win. You just have to leave a comment. Season 7 airs on Monday night, I will pick a winner by random integer generator, or whatever that thing is, at 4:20 pm Monday. I will announce the winner on Tuesday morning. If you want more chances to win post on Facebook, Twitter, your blog, etc, and leave another comment saying that you did. (Isn't that what people do? Seems like a good idea I guess? Maybe MLP will see the contest and know how grateful I am and sign right up for hosting a future fundraiser? Yes please.)

Good luck! Just say yes to drugs! Er, I mean SHOES!

*If you feel too guilty about being in the running for cool shoes without having made a donation for the school you can always go here or here and enter guilt free. :)

Good Luck!

Haves and Have Nots....

2011-06-22T14:11:00.000-07:00

The beauty about a new project, about a first time collaboration, is that the people involved can have a say in how thing go. We are working out the details for the sponsorship program for the school in Meazi and Melese's village. I would like your input.

After the event in April, I met with the president of The Fregenet Foundation . Tafesse told me all about his wonderful school, and asked me if I knew any adoptive parents who might want to help him keep the school going strong. He really does have an incredible foundation, and he could use a family or two to become his school's cheerleaders. In an incredible, full-circle, crazy, kind of coincidence, Tafesse's dreams of a school came after the death of his only child- Leeza. Leeza was Dana Roskey's (of the Tesfa Foundation) fiancee. The grief following this young woman's death has spurred ripples of goodness and hope for thousands of Ethiopians.

Tafesse has run his school for many years and had some very wise words of advice. He told me that individual sponsorships had proved disastrous in his school. Those who were sponsored received visitors, sometimes new uniforms, letters, etc, and those that weren't did not. It was upsetting to students and parents alike. His school is a little different than ours will be (Fregenet is in Addis Ababa), but I can't help but think that we should consider being a unified group of sponsors. Yes, it is fantastic to get assigned a specific child and to see that picture and to make that connection, but really that is a gift for the sponsor not the sponsored. If all of you who pledged to take on a student agree, I think we should form a group and not count on having our own personal student.

Sponsorship for the Kololo school is $21 a month, or $252 a year.

Thoughts? Concerns? Who is in our group? Who wants to help a city school?

Anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-22T05:10:00.000-07:00

Friends

2011-06-20T19:00:00.000-07:00

Me: Meazi what do you like most about Aster?

Meazi: Everything.

Me: What do you like most about Judah?

Meazi: Hmmm, not sure mom. He is a little crazy.

It's good to have friends.

Father's Day

2011-06-18T06:40:00.000-07:00

I love you forever. You are my dad forever. I like you. I love you. Will you love me forever? - Meazi

I love this picture. To me it epitomizes why he is such a wonderful father. Minutes before he had asked Meazi to stay out of the zen garden directly behind her. She fell in, he helped her up, and gave her this look. He manages to make them feel safe, to make them laugh, but also to keep them in check.

They adore him.

He reminds me of someone...

Dear Dad, I love you forever. You are my dad forever. I like you. I love you. - Jules.

We are off for a mini road trip today, to see my sister Kate and her betrothed. The kids will see their first modern dance performance, and enjoy their dad's favorite road trip food.

Have a lovely Father's Day.

Oh, and don't forget to vote!

They really did drag this contest out didn't they? Enough already.

Raising Butterflies

2011-06-16T06:22:00.000-07:00

A boy came into Meazi' class in May. He had switched schools. May is a tough month to start a new school. His mom approached me the other day and told me that the only reason her son was able to make the transition was because of Meazi. He had been crying in the classroom. Meazi approached him and asked him what was wrong. He said that no one would play with him. Meazi said, "Well, you can play with me." She took his hand, and from that moment on she has had his back.

Another mom approached me to compliment me on my parenting skills after hearing this story. It has absolutely nothing to do with me. My daughter knows what it is like to be an outsider. She has had to learn about change and about adapting, very early in her life. Her losses have been enormous, and she has better coping skills than many adults I know, myself included.

"Meazi is a kind and loving child and has been a wonderful part of our Kindergarten community."

1st Day of Kindergarten...

Last day of Kindergarten...

Congratulations Konji. I am so proud of you.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-15T05:22:00.000-07:00

They Are Practically Amish.

2011-06-12T16:21:00.000-07:00

In a classic case of "Do as I say, not as I do," we do not allow our kids to watch television. After nearly two years of being a mother I find myself saying, "Why on earth did I ever agree to this?" I believe Steven got me at a weak moment. It was probably during our adoption process, I had probably been watching bad television for six straight hours, while eating Hot Tamale candies and feeling sorry for myself. Sugared out, brain-dead, he probably looked at me slumped on the sofa and said, "You don't want your kids to ever feel this way do you?" No I didn't.

Whenever I tell people this, they tell me about all of the great programs available for kids these days. I don't doubt them. There have been so many evenings, usually around 5:45, when I have wanted nothing more than to plop them down on the couch and turn on the TV. So far I have resisted. (Disclaimer: in no way is this a post about what a better mom I am for not letting my kids watch TV. Surely you have read some of the blog and you know this is not the case? There is no judgement about this).

In a way, I feel like I may be contributing to my children's feelings of being different. The no TV thing makes them a bit strange. When I taught at the Waldorf school, I really loved the fact that the students didn't watch TV, and that they were not allowed to wear TV characters on their clothes. Their imaginative play was remarkable. Meazi and Melese act out all kinds of amazing scenarios, the most popular one involving their travels to Russia to adopt two children. I love watching them play. Occasionally they'll ask me to be 'that airplane person who passes out the drinks', and I do.

It is amazing to me that you don't have to watch TV to know about Dora and Elmo. They are ubiquitous. It is hard to purchase everyday things for the kids that don't involve television. Happily Melese calls his Diego toothbrush, Domingo.

Melese's friend Domingo...

We are definitely movie people though. Steven and I both love movies. We haven't taken either child to a movie in the theatre yet, because we haven't seen anything advertised that we want to be their very first movie in a theatre ever.

Then there is that whole sensitivity issue. We have shown them a few movies here at the house. It has pretty much been a debacle. They loved Toy Story 3, but still talk about the scary incinerating part. Pippi Longstocking was a hit, but we had read the book first. When we got a different Pippi Longstocking movie from the library Meazi became terrified of the villain and cried hysterically whenever he showed up on the screen. We turned it off. I thought the animated version of The Little Engine that Could would be a safe choice. Not so much. The nightmare train was, well, a nightmare for her. Next up, The Jungle Book. Great for Melese. He loved the elephants and now marches around the house shouting, "Hup two three four! Keep it UP two three four!" But he does correct me, "Mom, it's The Jungle, not the book. It's the movie mom. So, we call it simply The Jungle. Meazi couldn't watch it, she was too afraid of the tiger.

This past Friday the evening seemed to drag on and on. Steven was nowhere close to leaving work, so I thought it would be nice to have another movie night. I had recorded Ramona and Beesus on our DVR. I thought Beverly Cleary based entertainment would be a no-brainer. It was, until the girls walked into their basement and found their cat dead. Yep. Dead. Family. Pet. Oh and there was kissing! A young girl with a love life, which Meazi now refers to as a 'Lovin Life'.

Enter world's greatest website: Kids in Mind. Someone at work told Steven about this site, and it is great. We will be using it before we choose our next movie.

So yeah, another post about how I am struggling as a mother. How do I make sure that my kids aren't those weird kids who aren't allowed to watch TV? How do I help them retain their beautiful imaginations? Why does Meazi already know who Lady Gaga and Justin Bieber are? How do I make sure I don't traumatize them with my poor viewing selections?

For the record, Pippi Longstocking's mother is dead and her father is the king of Cannibal Island.

"What's a cannibal mommy?"

Great.

Sunday Garden Tour

2011-06-12T04:23:00.000-07:00

This picture is a good representation of how I feel about parenting lately...

Sunday Garden tour...at somebody else's garden.

Steven...

2011-06-10T15:20:00.000-07:00

Steven, who has never taken much interest in this blog, keeps texting me to tell me where I stand.

Don't forget to vote daily until the 21st.

Still don't know what the prize is.

Hopefully...Booze.

Hi Steven! Welcome to my blog! xoxo

Goodwill Hunting

2011-06-09T13:50:00.000-07:00

I finally had a chance to go through some of the kids' old clothes. We are lucky enough to be the recipients of many fine hand-me-downs, especially for Melese. By the time he is through with them, they are ready for Goodwill. I saved some of Meazi’s nicer things for friends, especially her Ethiopian dresses.

There are a few of her things that I cannot let go of.

Those shoes and that dress she left the orphanage in.

That silly matching Mommy and me Lucky Brand sundress. I never thought that I'd be the kind of person that would buy matching dresses for my daughter and myself, sounds so, pagent-y or something. It was actually nice because the first time (out of the three times we both wore this dress) she did get a kick out of it, I felt that it helped with our attachment, at least for that day. Also, there was that benefit of "If you forget which white woman at this party is now your mommy, check their dresses."

That Keep on Truckin' dress. You understand why I can't give that away right? And was she ever really that small??

And her uniform jumper. Her classmate Adrian's little sister will be getting most of her uniforms, but I am keeping her size 6 jumper.

I am also keeping Melese's orphanage farewell clothes, and an adorable one-piece striped outfit he was wearing when we went through customs in Los Angeles.Unfortunately, due to an incident which I hope is not indicative of his feelings toward America, said onsie had to be removed and bagged in the airport.

Our house is about 950 square feet. Melese, Meazi, and I share a closet. At this rate we are going to be out of room very soon. Do other people do this? Keep things like this? Or do I still live in Crazytown? Don't answer that. I already know.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-06-08T04:53:00.000-07:00

One year and 303 days...

2011-06-05T23:45:00.000-07:00

We headed to the YMCA today, to squeeze in a family swim. They heat the training pool to over 90 degrees. It is very relaxing to splash around in there with the kids. There is a lifeguard, and today there were about one hundred other children swimming. The pool is only four feet deep. It is heavily chlorinated, which is a good thing because those one hundred children never get out of the pool to use the bathroom. Meazi is a fish, and can now swim on her own. Melese splashes around, jumps into our arms from the ledge, and occasionally blows a bubble or two. It is a nice way to wrap up the weekend.

Just before five, as we were getting ready to leave, I asked Steven if he wanted to grab burritos for dinner. There is a new make-your-own burrito place that just opened in our neighborhood. The kids and I tried it last week. He said yes. In the locker room I asked Meazi if she wanted to go out to eat. As we walked to the car she said, "Dad, I really have a surprise for you, that you are going to like." He said, "Well Meazi, I have a surprise for you too." I said, "I think you guys share the same surprise- burritos."

We drove over, and Meazi discussed what she was going to choose this time, spinach tortilla, refried beans, Spanish rice. I asked Melese if he wanted a burrito and he nodded an emphatic yes. We pulled into the parking lot, hair wet, flip flops, all of us reeking of chlorine. I opened up the back to give Meazi a hand out of the car. She said, "Uppy!". "Uppy?" I said. "Ok." I picked her up. She wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, I felt a drop of water fall from her curls onto my clavicle. She put her head on my shoulder and then whispered into my ear.

She said, "You are very special to me." Tears shot out of my eyes onto my cheeks. "Oh Meazi" I said, "That is so swee..." She cut me off, "You all are, you, daddy and Melese. You are all very special to me."

It was the nicest thing she has ever said to me. I know that she loves me, but this was different. This was not a rote, "I love you," following one that I said to her. This was different. I said, "Meazi, tell daddy what you just said." She got embarrassed and asked me to tell him. So I did. We got burritos.

In the one year and 303 days that I have known her, I'd have to say that this may have been my most favorite moment.

But maybe she just really likes burritos.

Later of course, Steven and I decided that it sounded like something a teacher would have said to her. My moment of pure attachment-happy-joy turned into, "Which of her teachers told her that?" Then, because I am apparently still a misanthropic cynic who fears the worst, I wondered which creepy adult told her that so he could molest her.

Nice.

At least for that split second...pure joy.

Sunday Garden Tour

2011-06-05T14:14:00.000-07:00

The Return of the Sunday Garden Tour.
Meazi is watering her grape tree and Melese's Lilac tree. Melese is trying to fix my Flip camera.

We have a blueberry!

And some lettuce...

Sweet peas...

Waiting on the strawberries...

Beer! Er, I mean hops...

Corn!

Asparagus? I think?

A wee squash...

Wine! Er, I mean grapes!

A lone blackberry...

Coriander up the wazoo...

Watermelon!

L'onion!

Would you like that baked, mashed, or minuscule? Our lone potato. Ted has got his eye on it.

Flip still out of order...

Cherry tree, flanked by two strawberry plants...

Disclaimer: Usually not a fan of monkey clothes for our kidlets, but make exceptions for pj gifts from Nana.

AND...SWEET HONEY HARVEST!!!!!

Thank you bees. Really makes up for the lack of French fries.

These Days

2011-06-03T15:45:00.000-07:00

And I would go so far just to be where you are... would take no time bringing my heart to you.

These days I am a really good mother...

While they are sleeping.

It's the when they're awake part that I need to work on.

I usually wake up around 5:30, giving me a full 30-45 minutes to get my shit together. This week was particularly tough for some reason. The kids have been bickering a lot. All of us have had numerous meltdowns. Three of our four kitchen chairs have been decimated by the two-year old. Not sure how we are going to have family meals anymore without chairs. I think Meazi is a little anxious because school is winding down. She is also sad that her dear friend Masha is leaving to go to Russia for the summer. This 'short four day' week has dragged on and on. I am depleted.

Before they wake up, I have it all figured out. I will not raise my voice. I will not nag her to get into the car so we can make the first school bell. I will listen to him more, and make sure he has a lot of my undivided attention.

I will cut down on the processed food. I will measure their feet again and make sure I have them in the right size shoes. I will schedule a dental appointment for Meazi. I will go through their clothes and take out what is too small. I won't cry so much in front of them. I will set a good example. I will teach them coping skills that they will use throughout their lives.

Doesn't happen. There isn't time. I am navigating meltdowns, and low blood sugar episodes. I am refereeing. I am asking them to put away their toys for the 13th time apparently in a voice so harsh that it causes Meazi to cry and say, "Mom you are scaring me!"

One mistake can go through this life so slow, want to keep myself from making two.

I don't want to keep making so many mistakes. One mistake can go through this life so slow.

But each sunrise, I get another chance.

And the sun will rise and we'll open up our eyes and see love showing what's really true.

I get another chance to remember to wear my homemade Mother's Day pin.

I get another chance to give my undivided attention to his amazing Buzz Lightyear shoes.

I get another chance to be the mother that I thought I would be.

These Days is a song I am listening to over and over lately. It is on this album. It is a beautiful song. I can't find a video of Alison singing it, but I did find this one. Think I'll give it another listen.

And So It Begins....

2011-06-02T08:01:00.000-07:00

You think the kids are just innocently enjoying a movie in the other room....

Not so much.

And the Award for Biggest Jackass goes to...

2011-05-31T20:02:00.000-07:00

I was nominated for something other than World's Worst Mother! Vote for me!? What'll I win? I wonder. Maybe I won't win anything. Maybe just being nominated is winning?

Leaving now to vote for Claudia.

You Can Make Injera- Really.

2011-05-31T13:49:00.000-07:00

Meghan has helped produce an incredible new cookbook. It is a resource that is invaluable to adoptive families with children from Ethiopia. You will easily be able to make your kids one of their favorite things- Injera.

I was quite intimidated by the idea. I knew there was some fermenting involved, and special pans, and days upon days of preparations. Not so much. Easy, Peasy. Yummy, Delicious. Steven was the main chef, I was the sous chef. It was so easy, I'd be surprised if Meazi isn't making it by herself by the end of the school year.

Last Thursday night, after the kids and I fell asleep, Steven prepared the batter.

He used the Maskal brand teff, just the brown kind. I believe the recipe calls for a mixture, but he just used the brown. (Remarkably this teff flour belonged to Chris. He took it from her home after she died).

We tucked it in an open space on our very cluttered counter.

It is supposed to ferment for up to 48 hours, but ours worked longer. I was worried that if we waited too long it would turn into beer or something. Not all would be lost, but still, it was a concern.

On Memorial Day, Steven added the hot water, which you have to do six to eight hours before you want to start making the bread.

Our dear friends came over with their brand new Injera pan around 4:00 pm. Steven treated the pan with salt.

Doesn't it look yummy?

This pan was fantastic, but Meghan assures me that you absolutely do not need it. A simple frying pan, without a large lip, dedicated solely to Injera making, will work just as well. (But if you were desperately trying to find me the perfect gift for, well, uhm, Father's Day? This Bethany pan would suffice). We didn't have a lid, so we just used one from another one of Heather's frying pans.

Here we go...

I made Shiro from some powder I had, and the yellow split pea recipe from the Injera cookbook. I did not realize that in addition to easy, detailed, instructions on how to make Injera, the book contained tons of yummy recipes for many of our favorite Ethiopian dishes.

The Injera was great. It was the real deal. The dark teff gives it a richer, stronger, taste in my opinion, and next time we will try a mixture of the light and dark teffs.

It kept comin'. We kept eating. The kids loved it.

There is something incredibly satisfying about making injera for our kids. Meazi kept raving, "I can't believe you made injera!" She'd run out of the kitchen, and then run right back in to rip off another piece. She took the injera with some leftover Shiro in her lunchbox today. Earlier on Monday, she had told me how her family made injera in Ethiopia. She gave me some pointers. We live 15 miles from Little Ethiopia. We are incredibly lucky to have access to injera and other products, but now we know that no matter where we are, we can recreate this incredible gift of food, culture, family- living and departed- and friends.

Here is a lovely article about Meghan, Mulu, and their book. All proceeds go to building and improving health clinics in Ethiopia. Great idea. Invaluable resource. Delicious injera. Here's the link again.

Happy Fermenting.

MFG!

2011-05-31T05:41:00.000-07:00

Melissa Fay Greene is in LA tonight!

I would like to go, but I'm not sure Melese will let me.

Have you read the book yet?

Maybe you'll catch her in your city.

Sigh. I'm in Love.

2011-05-29T13:03:00.000-07:00

My new favorite hair product.

And it's Just too Bright...

2011-05-27T13:49:00.000-07:00

So I guess I'm not ready to give up the blog just yet. I will just have to figure out what to share. I have a feeling Meazi will help me with that. I hope that she doesn't mind that I share the following.

Today was the two year anniversary of our referral for Meazi and Melese. I had mentioned that fact to Meazi early on in the week. I asked her if she remembered what had happened on May 27th. She didn't. I showed her this video again. Then she remembered. Last night, for the first time in months, we talked extensively about Ethiopia. Meazi told me a couple of happy stories that I had never heard before. Then she asked me why her new friend Aster needed a family. I told her that I wasn't sure. We agreed that she must feel really scared, being here in Los Angeles for only a couple of weeks.

This morning Meazi slept in. We had talked about playing Pippi Longstocking again in the morning. I am always Pippi, Meazi is Annicka, and Melese is Tommy. We play this a lot. I lift our rocking horse over my head repeatedly, and we eat a lot of pancakes. This morning we made a huge stack with a slab of butter in the center, doused in syrup, and smothered in whipped cream. While I was cooking I asked Meazi to choose a not so loud cd for us to listen to. We have a messy collection of about 30 miscellaneous cds in our living room. Amazingly enough she chose a cd I made for myself and my waiting friends while we waited, and waited, for children. The songs are about waiting, and At Last is at the end. Cue ugly happy cry number one. Meazi asked me again to describe what happened on May 27th, 2009. I got to the part about "A 2 1/2 year old girl and her baby brother" and completely lost it- big, heaving, sobs. She just smiled at me, knowing that I was crying because I was happy and grateful. She has been especially sweet to me, and to her baby brother all day.

I was thinking that we might not pay much attention to this date in our family. Really, probably not a happy day to mark for M&m. But, now, as with many things, this date has a new significance for all of us. Meazi, the perceptive wonder that she is, realizes fully that this day was a REALLY big day around here. As we sit together in the same room where all our friends came to celebrate, I think we will definitely use a sharpie marker to mark this day on our family's calendar.

This has been a day so full of happiness that I feel like I may actually burst. Yes, there are problems. Yes, there is sadness. Yes, there is loss.

But not today.

Today is pancakes and Pippi, libraries and parks, picnics and playdates. Today I am overwhelmed with gratitude. Today I am sure that I must be the luckiest mom on the planet.

The very luckiest.

Another song from the cd...

For Bridget. Hold. On.

May 27th

2011-05-27T06:09:00.000-07:00

Upon Referral, May 27th, 2009.

Meaza.

Height: 36 inches.

Weight: 29 pounds.

Today.

Height: 47 inches.

Weight: 47 pounds.

Upon Referral, May 27th, 2009.

Melese.

Height: 25 inches.

Weight: 14 pounds.

Today.

Height: 36 inches.

Weight: 31 pounds.

Happy best day of my entire life.

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-25T06:07:00.000-07:00

BBB + Mean Reds

2011-05-23T13:41:00.000-07:00

The amazing Rebekah often graces us with a Bad Blogger Bullet point post. I love those. I thought that I would attempt one since I have a dozen posts in my head and about twenty minutes left before Melese wakes up from his nap. Here goes-

Marshall Garlington, one of the amazing photographers from our fundraiser is dying his hair blue for Charity Water. Will you consider helping him reach his goal? We all know what a great organization that is and how much the gift of clean water will change a person's life. I read a statistic the other day that $35 can provide a lifetime of clean water for someone. Can that be true? Anyway, please help him if you can. He is a good egg.

Speaking of help, thank you for all of your advice about the situation with the two-year old. What would I do without you guys? I'd be a disaster. Things are better and this is going to sound absurd but I am trying to just REALLY listen to him- What is he saying? What is he trying to tell me? Today, while biting me, I'm pretty sure he was saying, "I am furious that my dad is back to work today, and that the girl I love most will be gone for the next six hours." I also signed him up for Mommy and Me Gym class at the YMCA, which is helping both of us. He can knock the shit out of some puffy blocks, and I can at least see the inside of a gym again.

Still think something is up with Amelia Bedelia, but Meazi adores her.

I am thinking constantly about Lori Rooney and Aster's mommy as they begin their lives as moms of five-ish year old girls. I can't stop thinking about when I first met Meazi.

Family History will be reprinted in Adoption Mosaic's, The Adoption Constellation Magazine this summer. The editor has asked me to expand the piece, and I seem unable to. It seems so long ago that Meazi needed to lie on me to fall asleep. I can't remember what it felt like, and what I can remember feels too private to share.

I have been thinking a lot about privacy/ blogging etc. Meazi wasn't writing in a journal I gave her. When I asked why she told me she was upset that I copied something she drew. I am getting to the point where I feel like maybe it is time to not share anymore, meaning...

Perhaps this blog has run its course.

Perhaps I just have the blog blahs.

And he's up!

Wordless Wednesday

2011-05-18T04:30:00.000-07:00